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Wednesday, January 02, 2008

One could almost say of 1990s MARVEL that they were

While Joe and I were doing the end-of-year inventory counts today we were doing as I would imagine you all think we do in our spare time - and that is talk about Truly Crappy Comics. Truly Crappy Comics come in many forms and from many (all) publishers, but today's specimen is CAPTAIN AMERICA #395 (Marvel Comics, December 1991). What cosmic horror could stop both Cap and guest-star Thor in their tracks? Behold:

Yes, that terrifying nightmare fodder... dough. Eeek. They're really scraping the bottom of the bowl here. I tried to read this thing but I got hung up on the image of the Red Skull in a hot tub (!!!) chatting up The Viper, a scene which eventually leads to her joining the Skull for a bit of frolic in said tub, kinda like a giant bucket of villain borscht. The result of this tryst leads to this dialog by a (dis)robed Viper:
"You're an intriguing man, Skull, and a far better physical specimen than I'd have imagined."

Eww. Just eww.

Oh, and the dreaded dripping dough? Why that was the "malleable monster known as DOUGHBOY!"

Dowhatnow? Never heard of him. And I wish I never had. I give this comic an 8 on a scale of 1-to-Craptacular.

Hey, do you smell YEAST?



At 1/02/2008 11:26 PM, Blogger Joe said...

Yeah, I just love Marvel in the 1990s. Flash forward a few issues here with Cap, and the hits keep coming as Marvel astounds readers with the amazing Cap-Wolf saga!

Poor Cap, fighting doughboys and turned into a werewolf. Of course, it could've been worse... they could have traded in the shield for some big Cable sized guns, added a bunch of senseless pouches to his uniform, and let's not forget the addition of the signature fashion item of every cool Marvel character in the 1990s -a leather jacket!

I can't even begin to comment on the nastiness with Viper and Red Skull in the hot tub. I think like the entire Avengers: The Crossing storyline, I'm just going to have to pretend this event never happened.

At 1/03/2008 3:47 PM, Blogger Bill at Comix Connection said...

Joe, you gotta do a post about that atrocious CAPWOLF story arc... from what I've sen of it, it's a real clinker.


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